Pasadena Couples & Marriage Counseling

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Navigating relationships can be difficult, often times people confuse lust for love, or love is defined by the needs that were met for us or not for us met as children. Some of you may find yourselves wanting romantic love at all times and setting unrealistic expectations for your relationship. Relationships are work, and the reality is that many people give up on relationships when a struggle or obstacle emerges. Relationships are not what we see in Hollywood dramas or romantic comedies, and imposing those standards on your relationships can prove detrimental to the success of your relationship and your internal satisfaction.

Are you feeling disappointed by who your spouse or partner has become or hasn’t become? Has the sexual intimacy between the two of you become non existent? Do you find yourself arguing more and more with your spouse or partner and becoming more resentful and annoyed? All of these are common struggles within relationships.  They can leave you feeling invalidated, unsatisfied, having doubts about whether staying in the relationships is worth it.  Perhaps you have lost your own identity within the relationship, no longer knowing who you without the “we” is. Have you lost your friends or close relationships with family or worse the relationship with yourself for the sake of “making it work?” 

Relationships are filled with many issues to navigate, communication, balance, power and control issues, and at times infidelities occur in relationships that you never saw coming, or perhaps did but denial took over and you looked the other way. Many questions can arise when an infidelity occurs, “should I stay or should I go,” “can I trust him/her/them again,” “everyone tells me to leave but I still love him/her/them.” An infidelity does not have to result in an automatic break, many complex layers are involved in issues of infidelity and together we can determine what is the healthy path for you either as the unfaithful partner or the partner that was hurt.

Whether you are having infidelity issues, communication barriers, sexual issues or simply lost that “spark”  we can work together t0 help you  examine your feelings and ideas about what relationships should or shouldn’t be, as well as what love is and is not. Together we can explore how your past relationships  have set up certain parameters for success or unhealthy dynamics to reoccur. Relationships can help us grow, learn and become people, but often struggles occur, that does not mean the relationship is doomed forever, together I can assist you in learning better communication skills, restoring trust and working on intimacy issues. We all deserve love, but we must be certain that we have healthy ideas of love and together within couples or marriage counseling we can discover how to cultivate that in your life and relationship. My experience includes working with a diversity of couples including multiracial couples, Queer couples, open relationships, polyamorous couples; relationships are not defined in one way and I hold space for every type of relationship.

©Melissa Lopez, LCSW